If you’ve ever stared at your horse mid-training, wondering if you’re “doing it right”—you’re not alone. We’ve all been there: scrolling equestrian blogs, listening to top trainers, and walking away more confused than when we started. One expert says “drive with your seat bones” for collection; another swears by “lifting light in the saddle.” One trainer tells you to lock your reins for a hot-headed racehorse; the next says “loop ’em loose.”
But here’s the game-changer I’ve learned after decades in the saddle (and watching Olympic-level riders work their magic): There is no single “right way” to train a horse. And that’s not just good news—it’s the key to building a stronger bond with your equine partner and seeing real progress. Let’s break down the truths that’ll transform how you approach training.
I once watched two dressage trainers work with horses on the same goal: collection. Trainer A told their rider, “Press harder with your seat—drive forward, keep steady contact.” Trainer B said, “Lift your seat, get light, close your legs to bring their stomach up.”
On paper? Total opposites. In practice? Within minutes, both horses elevated their paces, moving with the collected grace we all aim for.
Horses don’t care about our “rules”—they care about understanding us. They’re wired to figure out what we want, even when our cues are messy or conflicting. That means you don’t have to stress over memorizing the “perfect” command. What matters is that you’re calm, consistent, and focused on communication, not perfection.
Early in my career, I rode a Thoroughbred named Old Lockjaw (yes, the name fit). He was a runaway—pulling hard, burning energy, and making races feel like a battle. I asked two trainers for help:
Trainer 1: “Double-bridge your reins, lock ’em to his neck—don’t let him get away.”
Trainer 2: “Loop your reins loose—give him nothing to lean against.”
Spoiler: Neither worked. But here’s the win: Old Lockjaw and I had fun testing both. I learned what didn’t calm him down, and that’s just as valuable as learning what does.
Training isn’t about getting it right on the first try. It’s about trying, adjusting, and learning together. Next time a new technique crosses your path, ask: “What if we give this a go?” Even if it flops, you’ll walk away with a better sense of your horse’s personality—and that’s how you build trust.
A 3-year-old green horse doesn’t learn the same way as a 10-year-old seasoned trail horse. A fiery Thoroughbred needs less leg for impulsion than a calm draft cross. Horses grow, mature, and adapt—and your training should too.
I once had a student who struggled to teach her young mare leg-yielding. Frustrated, she asked for help—and I realized she’d skipped teaching turn-on-the-forehand first. Once they mastered the simpler exercise, leg-yielding clicked.
Progress happens when you start simple, then build. Don’t rush your horse (or yourself!)—meet them where they are, and adjust as they grow.
Last year, I attended a three-star event where two horses took home “Best Conditioned” awards. The catch? Their trainers used completely opposite systems:
My approach: Hours of walking and slow, aerobic cantering (both four-beat paces) to build stamina.
The other trainer: Long trot sets and short sprints for cardio.
Same goal, different paths—both successful.
This is why I smile when riders ask, “What’s the right way?” The answer is always: “Whatever works for you and your horse.” Some trainers swear by classical dressage; others love natural horsemanship. Some swear by looking at a jump’s top rail; others say “look above it.” None are “wrong”—they’re just different tools for different pairs.
Here’s a rule I live by—borrowed from the 1911 U.S. Army Manual of Horsemanship: “Any system of equitation that disturbs the equanimity of the equine is flawed.”
If your horse is ears-forward, relaxed, and willing? You’re on the right track. If they’re tense, swishing their tail, or resisting? It’s time to hit pause—not because you’re “bad at training,” but because you need to adjust your approach.
Horses want to please us. They’ll put up with inefficient methods, confusing cues, and even our nervous energy—but they thrive when we prioritize their comfort first.
Final Thought: Embrace the “Try It” Mindset
You’ll get a lifetime of conflicting advice as a rider. A new trainer will tell you to change your rein length; a friend will swear by a different feeding schedule; a blog will say “do this, not that.”
Instead of stressing, ask: “Can we safely try this?”
If it works? Great—you just added a new tool to your toolkit. If it doesn’t? You learned what your horse doesn’t respond to—and that’s just as important.
Training a horse isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, being patient, and enjoying the journey together. And when you let go of the “only right way” pressure? That’s when the real magic happens.
What’s one new training technique you’ve been curious to try? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your ideas!
P.S. If you’re looking for more rider-horse bonding tips or step-by-step training guides, subscribe to our newsletter—we’re sharing pro secrets (and silly horse stories) every week.